The common meme today is that America is a divided country. We are divided every which way, by race, ethnicity, gender, religion and a hundred other sub- and mini-categories.
It is not enough to simply be - a unique, irreplaceable, irreducible being unlike any other, made up of a special complex of emotions, perceptions, humor, artistry, talent and intelligence - but some additional signature is required.
Moreover, each category has its ascribed values, assigned by political philosophers. Being white to some automatically signifies racism, white supremacy, and intolerance. To others in means inheritance of European civilization, heir to Greece and Rome, empire, advanced learning and creativity. Being black indicates primeval intelligence, the wisdom of the forest, a natural supremacy derived out of tribal instincts, and native evolution since the first homo sapiens. To others it means that this native tribalism is the very cause of perennial social dysfunction in the diaspora.
Being male or female needs distinction, disaggregation. Regardless of your genetic profile, where do you fit on the gender spectrum? Given your family history of mixed races and ethnicities, with which do you identify? Are you black or white?
There is another, more pernicious aspects to identity - regardless of who you are, you are judged by your political allegiance. From a liberal perspective, being conservative is grounds for cancellation. No amount of intelligence, humor, fatherhood, or faith can compensate for your insular, uncharitable, harsh and intolerant individualism.
Eric Fox and Robert Lake first met when they were twelve, both students at a small country day school. They liked each other, played together, roughhoused, made pizza, wandered in the woods behind the school, and tracked rabbits and raccoons deep into the Southington mountains.
They didn't know why they liked each other, and never gave the question a second thought. Of all the boys in the seventh grade and all the permutations possible, Eric and Robert became friends. Was it intelligence? Both boys were at the top of the class. Playfulness? Risk? Defiance? All the above?
No one can account for friendship at that age. There are no easy markers - excelling at mathematical reasoning, sexually adventure, high-end athletic ability, or common social graces. At twelve, you are simply children, boys of a similar social milieu but not yet with the trappings of commitment, belief, or allegiance.
Eric and Robert remained friends after country day school, were classmates at Lefferts, one of New England's most recognized preparatory schools, and were residents at the same Yale college. Their lives increasingly diverged - their academic and social interests were quite different, and their career paths went in opposite directions, but they saw each other in the dining hall, on the quad, and at the bookstore.
After graduation they lost touch - military service, international travel, marriage, children; but they always considered themselves friends.
College in those days was an apolitical time, and political identity was far from the thoughts of either boy. If anything they were conservative at heart - both young, attractive, intelligent, and wealthy, and with the early adulthood confidence in their abilities and bright futures. Yet a number of years later, Eric had a political awakening. He became angered at the world's inequality, poverty, destitution and the indifference of political elites to do anything about it.
The black man was still suffering under the yoke of white, segregationist racism, women were still second class citizens, and the country was still ruled by an Eastern urban elite. In short, Eric got religion, a liberal secular version with no less passion and true belief as the real thing.
Robert never changed from his earlier college conservatism. He only became more politically articulate and was able to express his foundational belief in individualism and free enterprise in political terms.
When he and Eric met at a college reunion, Eric wanted to talk politics and was surprised that his friend held none of the same convictions that he did. How could this be? Eric wondered. After all they were products of the same social and academic environment. How could his friend have been so infected, so inalterably intellectually elite, so indifferent to the plight of the many?
After a time, and an increasingly desultory friendship, Eric cancelled his friend. Political philosophy defines and expresses worldview, he said. It is what you are no matter what you were. He could not conceivably be friends with someone who saw the world in such harsh, uncompromising, unsympathetic ways.
Robert objected. If they were friends at twelve before politics, society, and environment made any difference and only natural, spontaneous friendship was at play; and if they liked each other then for no other reason than spontaneous affection, then they should always be friends.
Eric was adamant. There was no such thing as 'natural affinity', only environmental determinism he said, quoting Lacan and Derrida. We, political animals now in our prime, formed by variables beyond our control but accepting them as definite, cannot revert to some faux idealism of natural law.
This ending of a friendship for political reasons, this cancellation of a true bond, explains why progressive insistence on identity is so pernicious, denying as it does 'natural law', innocent affinity, and most of all individual character and personality.
A black man will always be black first and foremost and will always be seen through that racial lens. Identity makes it even harder to know people for who they are - blinders on a horse, enforced vision, categorization without exit.
Eric spent his years a social justice warrior, a progressive's progressive, an indefatigable reformist until, surprisingly, he changed direction. There is an old adage - give a liberal enough time and he will always become conservative - that has always held true. Life and its circumstances have a way of intruding on true belief, and maybe the world is what conservatives have always believed - a Darwinian, competitive territorial enterprise.,
That might have been what turned Eric around; but more likely in his later years the boy returned - or rather had never gone away but was only waiting for the right moment to reappear. Eric was back, reverted to essentials, 'givens' as he used to call them in his Ayn Rand days, and he called his friend, Robert.
A gift of old age, Robert said, one of the few. Facing the end of one's life, politics no matter how securely held, is not all that important; and it is definitely not the defining quality that determines friendship.
Both men are much more limited than in years past, and a whole continent now divides them, each on a different coast; but the friendship is anew, and both men thank God for it.





