Brandi Adams was thirty-six, not very old by today's standards of longevity but old by the ticking of the biological clock. 'I've still time', she said, but when one added up preliminaries - cruising, sifting, sorting, vetting, and triage - there really wasn't much. By the time she found some semblance of Mr. Right, she would be at least two years older if not more.
One mustn't hurry these things, but all in all after time for a reasonable engagement, settling in to marriage, and waiting a proper amount of time for children, the clock would be running down.
So it was no time to ease up on the throttle and about time to give the old engine more gas, to 'get on her hurry stick' as her mother used to say, or 'time and tide waits for no man' as her father, fond of adages and aphorisms reminded her more often than not.
But how? She had just about run out of options. The Oak Room at the Plaza, the Senators' Lounge at the Willard, vernissages and grand openings at the Met and the National Gallery, dive bars, C&O Canal bird walks, and college reunions, all proven venues for meeting the right men had not panned out. She was left high and dry with only online dating apps remaining, and that was one route that she, a reasonably attractive, well educated, Washington professional would not travel.
Or would she? In these days of AI and the mining of big data, the chances of finding a match were vastly increased. It wasn't like the old days of filtering hundreds of responses, giving one or two an in-person try, and amazed at the vacuity of the whole affair. 'Professional' had its own cadre of second-hand paralegals; 'creative' meant rearranging deck chairs; and 'inspirational' meant fundamentalism.
Now, especially if you were honest, artificial intelligence could sense these tricked out resumes, detect photoshopping, and probe far more deeply into sensibility and desire than the old mechanisms could. Sentient software refers to programs which reveal true individual reactions to hotel stays, river trips, restaurant meals, clothiers, hair stylists, and more. Little innuendoes shared between girlfriends on social media, captured and bought by marketing firms, can provide more commercial insight than any 'How Did We Do?' questionnaire.
The same software, enhanced and improved a hundred times, when applied to dating, produces remarkable results. Yet, Brandi resisted. It wasn't that she was snobby or overestimating her charm and sexual allure; it was simply too hard-hearted, mechanical, and unromantic.
Of course there was Lana, a colleague in her office who, desperate, alone and hungry for love, came back from Lagos with an African husband who satisfied her every craving for six months, then having promised his family a high rate of return on his investment, returned to Nigeria with a sack full of Lana's money, secured from her many accounts with the same canniness as his fraudster Nigerian cousins.
She got what she deserved, thought Brandi who was amazed that her colleague could have been so gullible, so stupid, and so desperate; but there it was. Love was not child's play to say the least.
Lana had chosen Africa because white skin and blonde hair was all you needed to attract black men, but she paid a price for speed. Having a white woman was not the same as loving one, and all she had to do was to look at the thousands of Baby Mommas across the Anacostia River to prove it.
Men did the same thing, tapping into the going market for Thai wives in Bangkok, complaisant, submissive women for the asking; but somehow these third-tier men never seemed to have problems, the marriages held, children were had.
Of course a number of these women were in someone else's pay, and had to send back remittances to their pimps on a regular basis or have their families roughed up; but by and large men seeking foreign women did far better than the Lanas of the world.
No, sexual adventurism was not for Brandi. Perhaps sexual tourism (Bali was apparently the place for a short-term affair-for-rent) might be a pleasant stop-gap, but she was looking for permanence.
The trouble was within. Brandi, like many women like her, were just too picky for words - a pickiness which masked a diffidence if not dislike for the whole man thing. There were plenty of men who came within radar range and who would have honed in on the target if she had not been so off-putting. To be honest, she really couldn't abide the idea of some gross man sharing her quarters, coming across her path at unexpected and unwanted moments, soiling things, disrupting things, and being a pain in the ass.
She demanded attention, fidelity, complete honesty, respect, and courtesy and failure in any category was enough to sink the ship. She could have had Armand, but he hedged his bets about other women; or Felipe who simply left things for her to pick up; or Bart who hammered on about his interests with a fiercely conservative agenda with a sensuous Sri Lankan partner. barely a nod in her direction.
There is no such thing as perfection, let alone in wandering, inconstant, single-minded, obtuse men; but Brandi seemed to think there was, and he was out there. Of course he wasn't because even if some reasonable stand-in gave her a pass she would slap his wrist.
Not that she had lesbian desires, for that kind of thing repulsed her. Of course her image was badly skewed and distorted. When she thought of a lesbian she thought of Bernal Heights bull dykes in engineer boots, butch haircuts, flannel shirts, longshoreman manners. She should have thought of Alice Weidel, lesbian German politician who might well be the next Chancellor - a lovely blonde woman with a sensuous Sri Lankan partner.
No, that route was closed. Her GPS maps didn't even show it, so it was men or nothing. What a depressing thought, but she was not ready to give up. Hang in there she did for longer than she ever thought. Lawyers, doctors, professors, investment bankers, software designers, startup mavens - all reasonable products at affordable prices - but she could never get past first base. Now 40+ she gave some thought to packing it in.
If this were a dime store romance novel, Brandi would find her true love and live happily ever after, but her life was too Hobbesian - solitary, brutish, nasty, poor, and short - to have that ending.
She didn't hate men - she got long quite well with her male colleagues. She just couldn't see fit to live with one given their manners and obloquy.
It took her time to realize that she was and would always be an old maid, a spinster, an unmarried, childless woman. Those were categories of scorn and disreputability when she was growing up, and yet here she was, soldiering on alone, facing the fag end of her life without anyone's shoulder to cry on.
Oh, she found sisterhood in groups of equally solitary women, widows, and divorcees but they all were women without men, not women who never wanted men, and so the surface collegiality made the association unpleasant. Better to get thee to a nunnery than to hear the whining misery of these ladies.
She did go to a nunnery. Well, not exactly but to an Iowa farm where she tended cows, chickens, and goats along side her cornfield, a perfect match. Dumb men were a problem, dumb animals weren't.




