"Whenever I go into a restaurant, I order both a chicken and an egg to see which comes first"

Tuesday, August 25, 2026

The Saga Of A Savvy Milkmaid - How Diffidence, Intelligence, And Ambition Undermined A Good Democratic Socialist

Amanda Jones had never had dreams of anything more exotic than the farm, the back forty, cows, and tending chickens.  She was a good girl, a Presbyterian, a pretty milkmaid, and a dutiful daughter, and only through a lucky break and homegrown gumption did she cause a stir in the corridors of Washington.  

 

Carrie Underwood - the Sister Carrie of Theodore Dreiser's novel of the same name - was a homespun girl with ambition, and she left her small rural community to find her fortune in Chicago.  By chance, she was noticed by a traveling salesman - a man polished, charming, and with a way with women.  He prided himself on his dapperness, his attentiveness, and his sincere love of women.  He had had many lovers in his day all of whom he treated well but left when greener pastures appeared. 

Charles Drouet approached the young Carrie and spoke to her about Chicago, the prairie, and the luminous life he led in the big city.  Carrie, a simple farmgirl without pretense or worldliness is attracted to the man, his clothes, his manner, and his suave but respectful demeanor.  She has been warned enough about the temptations of the big city but she had an innate sense of risk and reward, the calculus of life the poor folk of her town never had the opportunity to apply; and although she suspected Drouet of desirous intentions, she was willing to listen. 

 

The story of Sister Carrie is one of sense, sensibility, confidence, and ambition - how a young innocent from the farm negotiates the demanding world of the city, its opportunists and those offering opportunity, calculates investment and return and goes on to become a theatrical star. 

And so it was that Amanda met Isaiah Plummer at the farmers' market in Chillicothe - she there to sell fresh milk from the family's prize Guernseys and he with nothing to do but wander on a sunny May morning until lunchtime with colleagues from the Midlands Bank and Trust where he was a financial advisor recruited from Cleveland to provide high-priced advice on positioning and market share. 

The same chemistry between the fictional Carrie and Drouet - pursuit and eager complicity - characterized the meeting of Plummer and Amanda.  He lingered, she smiled.  He offered, she accepted.  Promises were made and kept and Amanda was soon companionable company to the well-to-do banker. 

Dreiser was a Naturalist who believed in the ineluctability of human nature and the inescapability of environmental influences. Will and desire were simply catalysts, necessary to set off the chain reaction of cause and effect; and so the story of Sister Carrie is one as much of circumstance and variables as it is determination.  

 

Amanda Jones was a simple girl of modest means but sharp intelligence and with a gift of innate savvy and moral diffidence.  She like Carrie understood that right and wrong are conditional, that the balance between them tilts one way then the other, and the job of the individual for whom survival is paramount, is to figure out how to tip the scales to advantage. 

Plummer was indeed a sexual opportunist and saw in the pretty Amanda a delectable prize, easy for the asking, and like the fictional Drouet was neither abusive or demanding.  He was simply a man who loved women, who saw opportunity everywhere, and who had the confidence to act upon his instincts.

The relationship, however, was more than incidental; and the more time that Plummer spent with the young farm girl, the fonder of her he became.  Would she consider coming to Cleveland? He would help her get settled, secure a position for her at the bank, and ease her way into life in the big city. There were no strings attached, just courtesy and good will. 

She accepted without reservation, said goodbye to her family and friends, and - again like Carrie - headed off by train to the big city. 

There is in some women an uncanny sense of purpose. If life was a matter of circumstance, innateness, and possibility, then all was largely determined. She liked Plummer well enough, and was savvy and morally diffident enough to accept the sexual part of the relationship without demurral or complaint.  Moreover the relationship helped clarify and frame the very qualities that so attracted Plummer to her.  

She saw the way men looked at her and noticed the deference paid to her by her female co-workers. She was irreducibly woman, and despite the cant and canon of those who insisted on 'the inner self', she knew that her femininity - her femaleness - was what would govern her and others. 

It wasn't long before Cleveland, the bank, and Isaiah Plummer faded in interest and possibility. She had come into her own.  In a short, compressed academic program both in-person and virtual, she had completed an undergraduate degree in economics and was on her way to an advanced degree.  She had moved up in the bank and had become a loan officer and then financial advisor.  Plummer had moved on, and there was nothing more holding her in place. 

Once again, Naturalist circumstance - another chance meeting of an important Ohio politician, a member of the state legislature and slated for national office.  His picture had often been in the paper, for he had announced his affiliation with Democratic Socialism - a philosophy which, based on the progressive principles of Lafollette, Gompers, and Brandeis but expanded to include the even more important tenets of diversity, equity, and inclusion and a determined policy to redistribute the unconscionable concentration of wealth in the country. 

Blanton Pierce was a man on the way up, on no one's coattails, a political force in his own right and someone to be reckoned with.  More importantly, he had his eye on Amanda Jones and was stricken with the same desire as Isaiah Plummer and more. 

Men are inconsolable romantics, Amanda had learned, never happy with what they had, always assuming that the grass was always greener somewhere else and that the future held limitless opportunities of love and affection.  The heroines of Shakespeare's Comedies - Rosalind, Viola, Portia, and others - all ran rings around their besotted suitors who fell over themselves in love. 

And so it was with Blanton Pierce.  Politicians whose bread and butter is chicanery - or at least deft marketing - were not supposed to have a soft, vulnerable, open side; and Pierce was an open book when it came to Amanda Jones.  There was something irresistible about her - a combination of sweetness, physical beauty, and sexual allure that was as potent as any scented flower - and even an ambitious, decidedly morally diffident and fatefully ambitious politician like Pierce could not resist. 

A woman like Amanda was not content to simply be a woman.  She wanted to play the lyre until her victim was charmed, seduced, and hers.  Her libretto was one of social justice, her score filled with socialist staccato and crescendo, her orchestration jubilant.  He had found a soulmate, and she another stepping stone, another rung on the ladder. 

When he moved his offices to Washington to prepare for a Congressional bid, he invited Amanda to join his team.  He would see that she was settled comfortably, met the right people, and led a privileged life.  He asked nothing from her but her consideration, affection, and perhaps later, love. 

Sex has a way of addling the most principled men, and under the baton of Amanda Jones the symphony was re-written.  Like Hedda Gabler, Henrik Ibsen's willful, Nietzschean character in the play of the same name, the only validation of life in a meaningless world is the expression of pure will; and the complete control of an other is its best moment. 

 

Amanda, never forgetting her humble, American originalist upbringing, the value of hard work, enterprise, self-sustaining independence, patriotism, and family, felt that the canon of Blanton Pierce was nothing more than a febrile dream - fantastical lines from a political A Children's Garden of Verse, marvelously naive idolatry of an imagined past - and she would unravel, disassemble, and dismiss it in turn. 

He couldn't wait to see her after a tiring day defending his increasingly weakened positions at progressive caucuses and gatherings.  He stumbled up the stairs to her Dupont Circle townhouse, took her in his arms and said he loved her more than the world itself. 

The bait had been taken, swallowed hook, line, and sinker; and all that was left was to reel him in. 'Tell e what to do', he implored, and she as comforting and consoling as ever, told him that he was a remarkable man, a champion, and a future President; but that he had to come to his senses, listen to reason, and come with her to the farm.  

Of course it would be a confabulated fantasy of its own to assume that a girl like Amanda was the only reason that Pierce fell off the rails and was dismissed from consideration for high progressive office. It was not her native conservatism foundational values that did the trick, it was the sex. 

As Nathan Zuckerman, friend of Coleman Silk in Phillip Roth's The Human Stain says when told of the older man's affair with a much younger woman, 'It's all about the sex, isn't it?', that was the inescapable conclusion regarding Pierce's fall from grace.  Amanda's words had not pushed him over the edge, it was her marvelously adept, practiced, seduction - more enticing and irresistible than any beauty of a pasha's harem. 

 

Amanda loved being a woman, heart, soul, and body.  She was Cleopatra, Nefertiti, Venus de Milo, Artemis, one of many in the pantheon of strong women.  

Blanton Pierce was never heard from again.  His spirit had been broken, he was the embodiment of weltschmerz.  He was a double victim - victim of the sodden, reproachable, fantastical propositions of socialism and of the indescribably potent will of a farmgirl. 

A Happiness Course At Yale - The Dumbing Down Of America Has Reached Bottom

Ellicott Hall moaned when he heard that his daughter, Emily, was enrolled in Yale’s Happiness Course, officially entitled ‘Psychology and the Good Life’, but known on campus by its more popular name.  Ellicott, who had graduated from Yale a number of years before his daughter was born, had been a student of Paul Weiss, Harold Bloom, and Vincent Scully, a triad of thinkers unmatched in the Ivy League.

Image result for images harold bloom

Bloom’s course in Romantic Poetry was one of the university’s best – two weeks to parse and deconstruct the meaning of Blake’s spare, elegant poem, The Tyger, and by so doing encouraged epiphanies of meaning not only of the poem, Blake, and Romantic poetry, but all poetry.  Bloom understood that every word, every line, each stanza of the epigrammatic poem had a reference to the Old Testament, Norse myth, and Freud.  The Romantic poets, Blake being primus inter pares, had all mastered allegory, metaphor, and symbolism and synthesized them in a few lines.

Tyger Tyger, burning bright, 
In the forests of the night; 
What immortal hand or eye, 
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies. 
Burnt the fire of thine eyes? 
On what wings dare he aspire? 
What the hand, dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder, & what art, 
Could twist the sinews of thy heart? 
And when thy heart began to beat, 
What dread hand? & what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain,  
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp, 
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!

When the stars threw down their spears 
And water'd heaven with their tears: 
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?

Tyger Tyger burning bright, 
In the forests of the night: 
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?

Image result for images william blake

What was that fearful symmetry? Bloom asked.  What dread grasp and what deadly terrors? No student left Bloom’s course without Tyger permanently recorded and without a vision of Mosaic Harold Bloom, looking up and out the window to the bird on whose wings the Tyger – all of us? the sage, the prophet? – aspired.

No student who witnessed Scully’s exuberance, his vitality, and his insights into ancient architecture and the natural world which inspired them ever forgot him. The horned mountains of Crete had immanent power that overwhelmed the individual, gave birth to the myth of the Minotaur, and inspired the monumental works of the period.  Only in Scully’s class were art, mythology, environment, and architecture so convincingly unified.

Image result for images cretan minotaur

Paul Weiss in his course on metaphysics asked students to consider meaning – not the facile search for answers to common questions -  why are we here and where are we going? - but serious meaning.  Meaning extracted from texts, equations, and physical conundrums.

So it was no wonder that Ellicott moaned when he heard of his daughter’s choice of curricula.  He had already become somewhat used to Yale’s new courses – ‘Queer Wagons – The Chronicles Of Gay Pioneer Women’; ‘Which End Is Up? The Nature of Transgender Reality’; and ‘Washington, Jefferson, and Madison – America’s Racist Past’ – and knew that employers would look only at the Summa Cum Laude degree and not what courses contributed to it.  Yet America was so awash in conversations about race, gender, and ethnicity, that a university course beating a dead horse made no intellectual sense and certainly no economic one. There would be no discussion about Keats' To Autumn on CNN and MSNBC; and so if it were gone from Yale, it would be gone forever.

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness

Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun

Conspiring with him how to load and bless

With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run…

Image result for images poet keats

“It’s not like I’m going to major in Happiness, Dad”, Emily was quick to point out, seeing her father’s shoulders sag; but the damage had been done.  A NYT article reviewing the course and summarizing its central themes only made matters worse.

“So what’s the answer?”, the journalist wrote. “What’s the purpose of life? It’s smelling your coffee in the morning, loving your kids, having sex and daisies and springtime.  It’s all the good things in life.  That’s what it is.”

When Ellicott was at Yale, he had taken a course on Early Medieval French poetry, and moved by Francois Villon’s ‘La Ballade des Pendus’, he went to New Haven’s historic Grove Street Cemetery, sat among the graves where he could hear the carillon ringing from Harkness Tower, and read it there.

Human brothers who live while we are no more,

do not harden your hearts against us,

for if you have mercy on us

God will likewise have mercy on you.

You see us tied here by five of six,

as for the flesh we served too much

it is now eaten away and rotten

and we are but bones turning to ash and dust.

Image result for new haven grove street cemetery images

Ah, those were the days, Ellicott thought; but Francois Villon, Keats, and Blake were now unknown poets, casually removed from the curriculum in favor of more ‘relevant’ courses, their poetry digitally recorded and their original volumes stored in controlled atmosphere, hermetically sealed vaults in the  Beinecke Rare Book Library.  They were as good as gone.

The Happiness Course and other curricular adjustments made to focus on the here-and-now, personal identity, and ‘doctrinal integrity’ were only parts of the university’s clean sweep.  The names of the residential colleges were being cancelled to remove any traces of slave-holding, racism, and white privilege; and replaced by others of less stature and historical importance but with more acceptable racial and gender credentials.  New rules of classroom behavior were to be instituted to ensure that sexist pronouns and references were replaced by gender neutral terms.  ‘His’ and ‘Her’ were to be replaced by these terms:

HE/SHE zie, sie, ey, ve, tey

HIM/HER zim, sie, em, ver, ter, em

HIS/HER zir, hir, eir, vis tem, eir

Me/Too Movement campus activists were instrumental in changing procedures for addressing alleged sexual abuse; and, because of women’s long history of suffering at the hands of male patriarchy and the need to redress this persistent wrong, they said, women’s word was taken as fact, and men were forced to admit wrongdoing, take censure, punishment, and dismissal without the tedious process of a trial.

Speech in all forms – in the classroom, in term papers, on the campus, and on Yale-oriented social media sites – was to be monitored for correctness; that is, conforming to the newly instituted policies of what Yale called ‘An Inclusive University’. 

As much as Ellicott was dismayed by the revelations of university policy, curriculum, and procedure, Yale was one of the more moderate schools.  Some of the smaller, less well-known liberal arts schools of the Northeast became virtual gulags of censure.  They were academic dens of thieves – cabals of older, tenured, unreconstructed Sixties liberals, feminist firebrands, transgender activists, and Black Lives Matter racial overseers.

Emily Hall did well at Yale – summa cum laude like her father; but since she, her colleagues, and the university had dumbed down the elite degree, how could anyone take today’s Yale pedigree seriously? And new professors, schooled in post-modern, deconstructionist, theories of race and gender, were a dime a dozen – cheap by Ivy League standards, but what the market would bear. A win-win for Yale.

Ellicott went back to Yale for his 50th Reunion and was once again impressed with the university.  Yale was not just any university, and he felt proud that he had gone there.  But when he looked around and strolled past the classrooms where ‘relevant’ teachers rattled on about racial injustice and the gender spectrum, his spirits sank.  Not only had the intellectual integrity of the university been compromised, he had lost all connection with it.  It was not his university.  It was someone else’s.

Image result for images yale university

Monday, August 24, 2026

Frigidity Revisited - The Saga Of A Sexually Hibernating Woman

Tally Barstow had nothing against men, although as a good feminist she thought she should.  The cant never seemed right somehow.  Men never seemed like the predatory Neanderthals portrayed by her sisters.  Her father was a good man and so was her brother who went into the priesthood, and she acknowledged men's contributions to history.  Where would France be without Louis XIV or Russia without Alexander I, Egypt without Tutankhamun? 

 

Not only that, women were not all they were cracked up to be.  There were plenty of bitches around, Leslie Banneker for example, a real harridan who made life difficult for her in middle school, always ragging her for her hair or imitating the way she climbed the school stairs.  A real cunt better disappeared down the oubliette.  What was this feminist cant all about in the first place? 

Be that as it may - and Tessa paid her dues to The Movement and hewed the party line in each and every case except this one - she had a niggling problem with men.  The whole idea of penetration was off-putting.  Just think of it, she said...or better yet, don't think about it, some grunting, groaning man on top of you.  At this moment she always thought of Mr. Barker, the wheezy, hairy math teacher pushing his way into her, salivating and drooling, eyes rolled back into his head like some epileptic. 

That was the problem.  When she tried to shake the thought of gross Mr. Barker and replace it with, say, Bobby Benson the handsome football captain, the simian Barker took over and once again she was struggling for breath as he grabbed and pulled, shifted his bulk up and down until she felt like being loaded with bags of cement or corn meal. 

What did this mean, she wondered?  She liked men well enough so why this revulsion at the thought of the act?  Why couldn't she imagine being taken by Prince Charming, reduced to tears of joy, release, and sheer happiness?  Was she frigid?  

Where she got that idea, she couldn't remember.  Female frigidity was a discredited Freudian concept - a male, patriarchal one that modern psychiatry had totally dismissed and replaced it with the gender spectrum.  If a woman felt some reluctance when it came to sex with men, it was more likely a case of lesbianism or even in the most extreme cases, gender dysphoria.  Every woman was capable of orgasm and it was only a question of finding out how and with whom. 

Tally did not want to spend her life searching for the Holy Grail - sex was not the be-all and end-all of existence despite the blandishments of her friends.  Sadie Birnbaum was insatiable when it came to sex.  In the same vein as Freudian frigidity she would have been called a nymphomaniac or at least a loose woman, but she was nothing of the kind.  'I like to be ravished', she said over cocktails at the Mayflower. 

Sadie was not exactly indiscriminate - she had the good fortune of being blessed with good looks, and her sultry Jewishness was irresistible to some men with a Cleopatra complex (again Tally found herself dredging up these old Freudian ideas). She could pick and choose at will, was often disappointed ('I must readjust my algorithm', she said), but never stopped looking or 'being taken'.  

'Doesn't it get boring?', Tally asked her one day. 

'Boring? Oh, God no. You just haven't been fucked properly', and with that she bounced off to work at Fitch, Chambers & Locke, LLB where she kept her hands off the partners, never a good idea, despite their keen interest. 

Now, when it came to modern men, there really was a variety. There was everything in the stable from Nancys to pile drivers, each encouraged to come out of whatever closet they had been locked in, but warned against excess virility; so when approached, she felt less of desirable woman that some gaudy experiment.  'Real' men, the kind that loved women, wanted to be with them, and were comfortable with them were few and far between.  

'Now if I could find Mr. Right', she said, 'maybe I wouldn't mind him on top of me'. 

But like anything else, choosing a mate was subject to advertising, promotion, and trial and error.  You had to expect a few duds along the way, but there was no way to get the gold without trying; and she was determined to do her best. 

Yet that goddamn Mr. Barker kept showing up despite everything.  It was a Jekyll & Hyde scenario she couldn't lose.  The closer a prospective lover came to real intimacy, the more he became the image of the snorting, grunting, grueling Barker.  The very idea of him on top of her bellowing like an elephant was sickening, so no matter how charming, delightful, and considerate a man might be, he devilishly turned into a pumping ogre. 

'Maybe you need a shrink', said Sadie Birnbaum. 

Finding an appropriate one was not as easy as the cavalier Sadie suggested.  There was everything from radical feminists to old Viennese-style Jews, and choosing one was just as tricky as choosing a lover. 

She decided on middle of the road - an older doctor with a family practice, a kindly man who was considerate, non-judgmental, and without prejudice.  He listened patiently while Tally told him of Mr. Barker, Sadie Birnbaum, Prince Charming and her seeming inability to rid herself of the awful thought of some pile-driving boor bullying his way inside her. 

'Have you tried women?', Dr. Pease asked; but that was no out-of-the-box thinking but a reflexive, wokism surprising for a man of his reputation.  'You mean Bernal Heights bull daggers?'

The doctor was a bit nonplussed.  He wasn't used to such spontaneous irony and dismissal of his intentions; but after one hour of his nonsensical probing into her past, she paid the bill, thanked him, and never returned. 

'Bad luck', said Sadie. 'Bad luck of the draw', so Tally went back to the drawing board but came up empty each time.  Each doctor had an agenda even though they denied it.  Either they were old unreconstructed Freudians out to probe her ego, id, and superego; feminists who assumed sexual dysfunction and liberation sexuality; or New Age 'whatever' sexual counselors who had no advice except to let nature take its course. 

'You wouldn't buy a car without test driving', Sadie said, but as hard as she tried it was simply impossible to lie down and take it. She grimaced, gritted her teeth, clenched her jaw, and snarled until the man rolled off, pulled up his trousers, and went home. 

Disgusted by the idea of fingering, sucking, and cunt-to-cunt sex, she refused the overtures of women and was left with only two choices - dildoes or forget the whole fucking thing, not worth the time or the effort.  Lady Chatterley was a tart, Tolstoy way off the mark, sex an overrated, overblown commodity, a promotional item, a troublesome irritation. 

She was a relatively young woman when she closed up shop, so she had many more years to try the sex thing out again; but as of this writing she was not unhappy with her 'spinsterhood' (again, she seemed always to fall into antiquated Freudian scenes). Still an attractive woman but uniquely attentive to her nieces, nephews, and colleagues, she lived well.