Hookers–Why Men Buy Sex And Women Don’t

Although statistics on prostitution are necessarily sketchy and are based more on anecdotal evidence, arrest records, small sample surveys, and inference, by an overwhelming margin it is men who buy sex, either with women or with other men.



Why is this the case? What is it about women that inhibits prostitution?

One common perception is that women are hardwired and/or conditioned for monogamous or at least serial monogamy. 

Promiscuity in traditional societies has never gotten women anywhere.  How could women possibly attract and secure a mate who would provide for them and their children if their fidelity and the paternity of their offspring were questioned? An ambitious female sex drive could have no evolutionary promise.

In fact in traditionally patriarchal societies, paternity was the issue for inheritance and heritage.  Kings, courtiers, and peasant men all had a vital stake in knowing whose children they were bringing up, conferring titles and wealth, and passing on land and property.  After millennia of such patriarchy, wouldn’t it be logical and normal for women to have internalized conservative sexual behavior?



Other theorists have suggested that there is a link between female sexual response and sexual conservatism.  For decades, and at least since Kinsey, behavioral researchers has concluded that men respond quickly, vigorously, and often to images of sexually provocative women.  There is truth to the common wisdom that men think of sex all the time and way past their ability to perform.
Joyal, Cossette, Lapierre, and other sex researchers have noted (2015) the pronounced differences in male and female sexual fantasies.

The sexes have been found to contrast with respect to where their fantasies originate from. Men tend to fantasize about past sexual experiences, whereas women are more likely to conjure an imaginary lover or sexual encounter that they have not experienced previously. Male fantasies tend to focus more on visual imagery and explicit anatomic detail, with men being more interested in visual sexual stimulation and fantasies about casual sex encounters, regardless of sexual orientation

On the other hand, women's fantasies tend to be more focused upon mental sexual stimulation and contain more emotion and connection.

Kelley, Rudman, Ellis and others have suggested a link between female sexual fantasy, female sexuality, and evolutionary imperative: 

Women are more likely to report romantic sexual fantasies that are high in intimacy and affection, for instance associating their male partner with heroism and viewing them as chivalric rescuers.  Evolutionary theory offers an explanation for this finding, such that women may be likely to show commitment to their male partner in return for his investment of resources to help raise her offspring, thus increasing offspring chance of survival.

Times have changed.  Women in America and Western Europe have achieved near full equality with men with regards to educational and economic opportunity.  The age of patriarchy is slowly but surely dissipating, the Pill has enabled women the freedom of sexual expression without concern for pregnancy and abortion.

Women are engaging in extramarital affairs at a growing rate:

According to a report by Bloomberg Businessweek published this week, the most recent data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey show that women have had more affairs in the past two decades then in previous years. The percentage of men who admitted to infidelity “held constant at 21 percent,” while “the percentage of wives having affairs rose almost 40 percent ... to 14.7 percent in 2010.”

A University of Washington sociologist made the obvious conclusion:

“Women can afford the potential consequences of an affair, with higher incomes and more job prospects,” she said. “They have more economic independence and may meet a better class of mate.”

Is it, therefore, only a matter of time until women begin to seek male prostitution?
Tracey Cox of The Daily Mail and Jillian Kramer of Glamour UK suggest that it is already happening:

A new study (Lancaster University UK) shows the market for male sex services has tripled in the last five years.

But it’s not because there are rising numbers of desperate, unattractive women forced to buy affection.

Researchers found quite the opposite - a high proportion of the British women paying for sex were busy career professionals in their 30s and 40s.
Some claimed to be ‘too busy’ for relationships (which makes sense given their age group - the time when ambitious women focus on work rather than their love lives); others admitted to paying for sex even though they were in relationships.

Aurora Snow of The Daily Beast reported on a male escort service called Cowboys4Angels, the owner of which said:

My Cowboys are attentive, respectful, and protective.  They pay special attention to the client as if she is the only one that matters to him in the world building a genuine rapport.

Very different from a male brothel where the hookers may be attentive, but exclusively sexually so.  Female sexual desire meets female need for reassurance, communication, and attention. Cowboys4Angels might be the crest of a new sexual wave.

Despite the loosening of sexual morality, the Sixties, and the social flexibility and anonymity afforded by modern urban culture, prostitution still exists.  Estimates for men frequenting female prostitutes range from a commonly-cited average of 14 percent of American men to well over 50.  The truth is likely closer to 25 percent. 

Yet, even if one takes the most conservative estimate, this is still a lot of men.  Why do they do it?  Researchers have suggested the following among others:

* A compulsive or insatiable need for sex
* Avoidance of risks from a consensual affair
* Misogyny
* A desire to live out fantasies
* A need for control
* Quick, satisfying, uncomplicated sex

Too few women are willing to admit their sexual preferences for male prostitutes to be able to suggest reasons for so doing; but they are likely to include many on the male list and then some.

Feminists are of many minds concerning male prostitution for women.  There are some who claim it is another extension of a woman’s right over her own body.  Others suggest that is retributive – women can control their male escorts the way men control their women, prostitutes or not.  Still others suggest that such prostitution is sexually degrading, a denial of the best, most dignified, and expressive of women.

Time will tell, of course; but although the trend for women using male prostitutes is on the rise, there is predicting its final trajectory.