Randy Cross, Runway Queen, Operatic Transsexual Diva, And White House Confidant – Diversity In The Halls Of Power

Bartlett Fried was a lifelong progressive committed to inclusivity, diversity, and a better world.  He had been one of the first to endorse Randy Cross, a transvestite named Caboose who had made her name at The Train Station, an off-market female impersonation club in Newark, New Jersey for an important post in the Biden White House

“I adore the big double diesel at the front of the train,'’, he had said, “but I am simply delighted to be at the rear”.

Randy was no cheap runway queen, all tinsel, pasties, bustles, and high heels; but a graduate of Duke where his honors thesis, William Blake: Demons And Dragons, was published in the Sewanee Literary Journal, a first for an undergraduate and a Northerner.  On the basis of his insights into Blake’s metaphorical jungle imagery (The Tyger) and its subtle sexual references, he was told that he would be admitted to Duke’s new graduate Department of Inferential Literature and continue his pursuit of Blake’s ‘inversionology’.

The University had badly misjudged his interests, for he had used Blake only as a platform for his personal psycho-evolution; so it was only a surprise to his Duke advisor that he came out fully frilled, runway ready, the most glamourous young star of sexual impersonation since Bella Hanger at the Clown and Scarecrow in Raleigh.

Randy was mature beyond his years, and as perfectly transsexual as anyone had ever seen.  He expressed volatile femininity, a dramatic Cleopatra, Sarah Bernhardt sexual excess; and at the same time, a machismo as profound and deeply rooted as that of the most male stars of Hollywood.  Both men and women were attracted to him and his sublime, bifurcated sexuality.  The crowd at the SoHo clubs became diverse – not only were gay men and lesbians in the audience, but straight men and women.  There was something so primal, inexplicable, and even demanding about his sexuality, that no one could resist.

So it was based on that reputation and allure that Bartlett Fried – a closeted transsexual and canny politician - approached Randy.  Fried would help Randy turn his potent sexuality into a political asset; and while Randy would have to play straight at the White House and only suggest his sexuality with what Fried described as ‘a curious, inviting sexual twist’, once he was seated in the West Wing he could emerge from mufti, toss off the sexual harness necessary to keep him in residence, and become his own man/woman.

Now this particular scenario could only be possible in the era of Joe Biden and his claques in Congress for whom sexual diversity was the essence of progressivism.  They were delighted to have a sexual revolutionary in their midst, a man/woman who in his/her unique, transforming and transformative sexuality embodied all that progressivism espoused.  

What could be more expressive of the progressive ideal – a relegation of heterosexual sex to the Biblical backwaters of Mississippi, a proud statement of post-modern relativity, and a representative of true, inclusive democracy.  A Member of Congress from a minority urban district of a powerful electoral state who had himself just come out as transgender to the whoops and hollers of his supporters, championed the President’s selection of Cross and asked him to be more ‘expressive’ of his sexuality, showing the real face of transgenderism which had up till now been only a policy principle.  The Member of Congress, part of a progressive cabal with influence at 1700 Pennsylvania, assured Cross of his support.

Joe Biden had of course already gone public on the sexuality issue with the appointment of a well-known Philadelphia doctor who had transitioned to womanhood and made her mark as a frontline feminist and pro-abortion radical.  Dr.____was loved by the progressive Left for her personal courage, her stand on reproductive health, and her continued lobbying for more sexual diversity in Washington. 

For all her professional acclaim and steadfast progressive views, she had been kept under wraps by Biden’s handlers.  She was an unfortunately very unattractive woman whose physical transformation did not include any reconstructive surgery to soften what had been the face of a banged-up club boxer.  There was nothing she could do about her linebacker’s shoulders, and hypertrichologists could only slightly lighten her permanent five-o’clock shadow; so as proud as the President was of Dr. ____, he was convinced that her public appearances were doing more harm than good.

The arrival of Randy Cross was a different story altogether.  Here was the apotheosis of transgenderism – an Apollo and Aphrodite in one body; an alluring man-woman with political savvy, a counselor who could both represent the state of reformed sexuality in America, promote it, and calm the already roiled waters of conservative opinion.  If there was ever a queen who could lure sexual traditionalists, it was Randy Cross.

Since Randy’s job had nothing to do with academic policy, the drafting of white papers, budgets, or spread sheets and only with representing Biden’s new and important LGBTQ+ constituency, he was left alone to be himself, and so revolutionized the gender spectrum.  One week he highlighted his feminine side with the subtle application of eye shadow, a hint of pearl makeup, and an ever-so-slight sashay.  Another week he looked like Tyrone Power, darkly handsome, masculine, and appealing; and on more than one occasion dramatically combined the two.  Depending on lighting, background, and position he could turn one way and look like Hedy Lamarr and turn the other and remarkably resemble Alain Delon.  The President and his handlers could not have been happier.

The attacks from the Right were unremitting.  Fox News journalists had of course uncovered  Randy’s Caboose and Train Station past and declared his White House appointment as disgraceful, deformed and shameful.  Their venomous attacks on the President became as loud, virulent, and insistent as the Left’s were of Donald Trump.  The Right Wing felt that it had found Joe Biden’s Achilles’ heel.

Yet, despite the calumny and vicious attacks, Randy and the President stayed the course.  As importantly Randy became the cause celebre of the progressive Left.  His continuance at the seat of power was for them an existential issue, and he remained.  Encouraged by this adamant support, Randy felt that he could be far more open about his unique sexuality

As the months in the White House rolled on, Randy became more and more sure of himself, and slowly but surely he began to return to his Caboose and Train Station roots.  He had had enough of Tyrone Power and Alain Delon and wanted only to be Sarah Bernhardt, Gloria Swanson, Bette Davis, and Judy Garland.  Suggestive sexual duality was left on the curb to be replaced by true transgenderism.  Any and all traces of maleness were expunged.  No more acknowledging ‘his male side’, not even lip service to his DNA.  His male chromosomes were in the mix by accident, to be ignored and dismissed. 

There is a limit to even the most passionate support for transgenderism.  Men who had become women when in the White House were to act as duennas, nuns, or Dior-suited lawyers, not as flaming, runway Cage Aux Folles transvestites.  Back in the closet, Randy was told.  This was America, after all, reminded his patron, the Member of Congress from ____.

So Randy was welcomed back to Duke, given prominence and tenure despite his lack of an advanced degree, and taught the most popular course in university history – no more than a series of operatic transsexual performances annotated with readings of Blake, Marx, and Derrida – but one copied by universities in America and Europe. 

He had thoughts of returning to The Train Station, but sadly realized that he was past his prime.  Of course technology and makeup being what they were, he could go on a bit longer, but his salad days were over.  Duke was a good way station – academically very correct, but isolated in a Southern backwater.  California beckoned; and sun, sand, and naked bodies awaited.

Joe Biden’s progressive supporters in Congress were headed for an electoral rout in the 2022 mid-terms, and the President himself, seeing his approval ratings drop to the lowest level of any Chief Executive in history, was told in no uncertain terms that he was not to even think of running again.  Randy Cross and the whole transgender thing had gotten out of hand.  Polls showed that voters had had it with this sexual pandering, and corporation after corporation walked back their wokeness.  

It was about time, but all’s well that ends well. Joe Biden loved his retirement in Rehoboth and Randy Cross became the elder queen of Venice Beach.  Only the newly out transgender Member of Congress from ______had regrets at his summary fall from grace.  He had always been on the sexual cusp and now even dared to think of going back in the closet.   The voters of ______assured that in a by-election.