Open Borders And The Great Latino Influx–What’s Not To Like About More Nannies, Gardeners, And Painters?

“I can’t believe it”, said Anne Slaughter, a young matron of tony Belvedere Hills, a wealthy neighborhood of Washington, DC, to her women’s group. “The cost of a nanny has gone through the roof”.

Gone were the days when a Salvadoran, Honduran, or Nicaraguan under-the-table immigrant was a steal – patient, dutiful, honest, and responsible these Latino ladies were a find.  After her first child was born and she, a powerful downtown lawyer in desperate need of childcare, followed government procedure– three announcements in the local paper, certified interviews with American-only candidates, and registered mail transcripts of all interviews sent to the DC Department of Immigrant Affairs – but had not surprisingly come up empty.  The applicants were all unacceptable, high school dropouts from minority women from Brentwood or Anacostia with sketchy employment histories, application letters complete with ‘I am good with children’ nostrums, tear stains, and bad spelling.  She had no trouble convincing the authorities that Julia Suarez was the only decent, respectable, and employable candidate.

Julia stayed with the Slaughter family for a year before leaving for California, a new husband, and promise of a lucrative employment with a Hollywood producer; and Anne was again in the position of a top flight executive caught in the nanny trap.  On the market she went, but by this time Latino women had gotten savvy and were charging beach prices, supply and demand.  The best nannies were being snapped up quickly and the rest saw an opportunity for reward. Anne was outraged and nonplussed.  What was a mother to do?

Happily the politics of America regarding immigration had changed.  The Biden Administration had opened America’s Southern borders, and the country was once more awash with potential nannies, gardeners, and painters.  Anne and her neighbors needed to worry no longer.  A line of qualified, hungry, good Catholic women showed up at her door, were willing to work for next to nothing, and promised a long, respectful servitude. Although Anne and her conservative colleagues on K Street had bemoaned the derelict immigration policies (or lack thereof) of the President and his progressive claques, they were now quite happy at the outcome.  Slowly but surely raggedy lawns were being tonsured and set right, flaky eaves repainted, and tiny ramblers – the legacy of an earlier rural Washington – transformed into three story House & Home worthy residences.

The prices of individual labor – grasscutters, leaf blowers, painters, and nannies – went dramatically down.  The cost of renovations and new building was still high thanks to white ownership and high demand, but eventually the cheap Latino labor involved in grunt work and intense competition would force costs down.

Before Julia left for California she sent out an ‘All Clear’ message to her extended family in San Gabriel.  Come one, come all, she said, everything here free for the asking, so within weeks her second cousins from the barrio and third cousins from the banana plantations were headed to El Norte.  There was no need for coyotes or mules who had been put out of business thanks to the Biden open border policy.  A bus ticket to Piedras Negras was all that was required, and a cheap, back-of-the-bus Greyhound one way to DC sealed the deal.

At first, many residents of Belvedere Hills asked for proof of legality; but soon realized that if the President didn’t care about citizenship or visa/Green Card legitimacy, neither should they.  Belvedere Hills, Spring Valley, Cleveland Park and many surrounding, less tony neighborhoods became mini-Latino illegal enclaves.  These new Salvadorans and Hondurans lived in Adams Morgan and Gaithersburg, but worked where the money was.  Everyone was happy.  The system, as extra-legal as it was, worked fine.

Until the ineluctable law of supply and demand took hold.  Soon there were too many nannies, house painters, and leaf blowers to  go around.  Belvedere Hills became super-saturated and new arrivals foundered, found their way to municipal services, and became dependent on the state.  Those white, privileged Washingtonians who had benefitted from ‘Biden’s Millions’ soon realized that their taxes were increasing dramatically.  Even in a give-away, progressive city like Washington, someone had to pay.

The illegal immigrants quickly found that scrambling for a place on the roof of an AU Park colonial was worth far less than the ‘tributes’ paid to the out-of-work by the municipality; and the welfare rolls increased many fold.  Adams Morgan became much like the poor barrios of San Salvador – hot, hip, beer, BBQ, and late nights on the stoop.  Although the government revenue stream was not sufficient to send generous remittances back to Salvador, it was plenty to provide for a happily indolent lifestyle.

Salvadoran gangs, always a niggling problem of municipalities everywhere in America, grew by leaps and bounds in the fertile environment of labor surplus, government checks, a take-what-you-can-get ethos.  They easily recruited young unemployed Latino youth. The US under Joe Biden is a patsy, they said.  Leave aside the pittance you get from them as welfare, thanks to ‘diversity and inclusivity’ they will look elsewhere at your sub-legal dealings.  There is plenty to go around, so don’t be worried about the Hondurans and Guatemalans.  Latino Rules!

They were right on in their assessment of Biden era progressive politics.  Hands off black people, people of color, Hispanics, gays, lesbians, and Muslims who, by nature, ipso facto, can do no wrong is American policy, so have at it! So the price of illegal immigrant labor increased proportionately, the number of nannies available dropped, and Anne Slaughter was back where she started.  The cost of nannies had once again gone through the roof.

Meanwhile, Julia Suarez’ second and third cousins who came no questions asked through the open border were delighted at what they found.  Not only would they not have to work at menial jobs – an exchange of cane cutting and cotton picking for leaf blowing and paint scraping – they could make untold thousands as couriers, collectors, and minor enforcers for Salva Trucha, DC Chapter.

The irony of it all was that committed progressives found themselves in an ethical bind and true to form chose the easier unethical.  “I know that she might be illegal”, Anne Slaughter said, referring to her current nanny, “but think of the abusive conditions from which she was forced to leave.  Legality here is not worth the price of rape, pillage, and inhumanity”.  And so the argument went.  No matter what the circumstances, legal, extra-legal, or even illegal, the humanitarian gesture of President Biden and ours for accepting these desperate refugee, are to be championed.  We are the heroes.

And so it went until the policy profligate Biden was removed from office and a rather more intemperate and unwilling administration replaced him.  Under the new conservative Republican president, the borders were once again closed, a rational immigration policy established, and undocumented Salvadorans ‘regularized’ – deported or made to heel to American authorities.

“I can’t keep up with this”, said Anne Slaughter. “A rollercoaster, ups and down.  Thank goodness my children are in St. Albans”.  And so it went, supply and demand, political chicanery, and worried, overstretched mothers.  America at its predictable amoral, market-driven best.