'What A Great Idea!' - Kamala Harris Plans A Last Supper Inaugural Special

She knew that overconfidence led to bad decisions, but Kamala Harris was so sure of defeating Donald Trump in November that she couldn't help thinking about the Inaugural extravaganza that would usher in her tenure. Just think of it!  A black woman as President of the United States, proud as can be taking the oath of office, standing up on the platform in front of a thousand cheering supporters.  I will be President for all the people but I will start with black women. 

Of course she was as far from a real black woman as the Man in the Moon.  Her mother was an Indian to start with and her father was as white as you can get while still being black - economic adviser to the President of Jamaica, tenured professor at Stanford, pillar of the white academic community, looking white, acting white - so she could never claim any street creds, bling, Uzis, and pimps; but still, the American public, especially her progressive supporters never looked beyond what they were told and I have told them Black Is Beautiful. 

 

She dipped into the mother lode only  once and took trip to Anacostia, Washington's hard core, nasty inner city ghetto and expected to be greeted like a returning hero, a prodigal daughter back in the 'hood, but as soon as she stepped out of her limousine, one large black woman shouted, 'You ain't black, honey. Get yo' white ass up outa here', and from then on she did a drive by, waving from the tinted windows of the limo to the brothers and sisters on the stoop.

She as part of the Biden Administration had become an advocate for the poor, the hungry, the oppressed, and the marginalized.  Women, black people, Latinos, and gay men and women especially were in her sights - or perhaps that was not quite the right metaphor given the still persistent gun violence in the country which would be history once she became President. What she meant was that her focus on diversity was diamond-edged, razor-sharp, and clearly focused. Her Administration would take inclusivity to a whole new level. 

Which made her think of the brilliant Last Supper trans show in Paris. 'Oh, my God', she said. 'That takes oo-la-la to new heights.  What genius, what cultural chutzpah, what a brilliant escapade.  That'll show the doubters, the naysayers, the homophobic lot of 'em.  Why didn't I think of that?' 

Joe had tried to be inclusive of transgenders, but of all people he took the ugliest, fattest, most unfeminine one to be his Health and Human Services Secretary.  What was he thinking?  I tried, she said to have him pick a real femme, all pearls, high-heels and silk stockings but he said that would be too Cage Aux Folles, the people weren't ready yet, give them time, the Doctor is a good start.  

Ha! Fat chance.  What the people needed was some glamour, some runway appeal to show them what a real woman is like.  For that's what trans women are, the most feminine of all possible women. 

I will show them, Kamala said.  Transgender people - well,  all gay people for that matter - are the most creative people on earth.  Take the fashion industry, all gay, all swishy, and look at the creations! God! just let those girly girls out of the closet and what a world this will be.  A whole culture - a whole country as pretty and creative as can be. 

A Paris-style Last Supper event at my Inauguration will be just the thing to usher in the real gender revolution.  I will have more boas, peacock feathers, tinsel, and glitter than Paris ever imagined.  A message loud and clear to my people that things are going to change around here, Washington's days as a stuffed-shirt, Cosmos Club, Society of the Cincinnati conservative redoubt are over. 

Now, to be honest, the Vice President for all her Sturm und Drang about homosexuality still, even after all these years in politics, squirmed in her seat when a vision of two men doing 'it' popped into her head at the most inopportune moments. Yecch, disgusting! was her immediate reaction, although she quickly put a lid on it, smiled and continued to make nice with the gay community.  

Progressivism didn't mean actually doing what you preached - God forbid that I should try scissoring some bitch...Again she stopped herself in mid-thought.  Can't be thinking like that, Kamala; and so it was that she pursued the gay, inclusive agenda without a second thought. 

When she thought about it, the Paris show was not a whole lot different from her mother's religion.  The hijinks that went on in India! All manner of get-up in a side show of monkey gods dancing with nautch girls all bangled and perfumed up, bells and whistles and all kinds of celebratory shenanigans. It took hours to dress up for a kathakali dance, hours more to put on the make up, and just look at the result!

How gay! As gay as the day is long, and people whinged and whined about a transgender show in Paris! She would show them. 

Speaking of religion, a Last Supper thing here in America might not be taken in the right spirit.  Although France is a Catholic country and prides itself on being 'La fille ainee de l'Eglise' the eldest daughter of the Church that saved France and Europe from Islam, defeating the Saracens at Roncesvalles, the French are notoriously indifferent to religion; but here, the fundamentalists still whoop and holler when they see Jesus, so I can just imagine their reaction to my show. 

But fuck 'em, to be perfectly crude but honest about it.  America is moving slowly but surely towards a completely secular future.  That's what progressivism is all about, after all; and if I am serious about the whole idea, I cannot let a few holy rollers upset my applecart. 

She sent an official letter from The Office of the Vice President of the United States to Emmanuel Macron, President of France expressing her heartfelt thanks for encouraging such a display of diversity and inclusivity in such a magnificently Gallic way.  'Only the French, Mr. President', could come with such a brilliant, creative, and historically important idea'.  

Although she got no reply - Macron, still more of a Catholic than most of his subjects, was none too happy with the Olympic organizers who had planned the hoopla without his full engagement, and felt that the country, far from a beacon of progressive culture was becoming a laughing stock. 

'I have a lot to do', said Kamala to her aides and campaign organizers.  'First things first. Don't put the cart before the horse.  Win the bloody thing first, then look to those queens.'