Bob Muzelle watched the apes, orangutans, and howler monkeys do their acrobatics in the Monkey House of the National Zoo and thought, 'Here I am among them'.
Bob was lamenting the Trump victory and the executive orders which in one fell swoop did away with a decade worth of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs. Gone were efforts in government, schools, and corporate America to favor the black man and help restore him to his proper place atop the human pyramid; to champion the new age of gender fluidity, and to honor and promote gay men and women. Trump, the social troglodyte, the bullying retrograde, the...
Here Bob shook his head in disbelief and moral angst. How could this have happened? How could a carefully crafted, just, and righteous enterprise be so summarily dismissed, tossed aside as if it were half-eaten muffins, detritus, trash? The black man deserved more, much more; and the work to restore him to his native forest sublimity was not yet done.
A great ape came ambling over to edge of the cage and smooched his lips against the bars, eyeing Bob - or so it seemed to him - with ironic envy. An intelligent, sentient, marvelous animal trapped in a plastic environment - plastic trees, plastic rocks, a rope swing and a semi tire. This is where Bob's treasured DEI had gone - dismissed, forgotten, and only an item of curiosity and indifference.
It hadn't always been this way, for he and his colleagues had watched the DEI movement grow and prosper. Black faces were everywhere you looked - in every television ad, in every boardroom and government office, in hospitals and universities. Yes, the great majority of African Americans were still selling dope; and ho's, pimps, grills, and bling were still at the heart of ghetto ethos; but progress had been made.
A vigorous affirmative action program had brought scores of disadvantaged black students from the dankest, darkest slums of Washington to his son's tony Upper Northwest private school. Yes, an unfortunate number of these young people were sent back to Anacostia for theft, assault, and sexual intimidation; but that was to be expected - a necessary part of progressive integration. Now the school had cashiered its DEI director and was returning to its historical legacy of educating Washington's best and brightest.
The gay man, spat on, dishonored, and dismissed, had been promoted as the harbinger of a new sexual age. The end of restrictive and punitive heterosexual orthodoxy was in sight when Bob first turned his attention to the needs of the sexually under-respected. Gay men and lesbian women were seen everywhere, proud and elevated; and the emergence of transgenders was the icing on the cake. The revolution was well underway; but now, thanks to Donald Trump, they were once again tossed aside in favor of outmoded and irrelevant straight men and blonde, blue-eyed, sexy women.
The Inauguration could have been called Straight White Day for all the bouncy, toothy bimbos headed for the West Wing behind Emperor Trump. A disgrace, a slap in the face to those who had overcome prejudice and scorn to finally see the light of day and bask in it.
An orangutang swung his long arms and looped himself up a branch on a plastic tree, peeled a banana and, and threw the peel at Bob - or at least so he thought given the down and desperate mood he felt that day; for forget all the black and gay people suddenly dismissed and forgotten, what about him? His position as CEO of Americans for Social Justice, a small but not uninfluential advocacy group, would soon be dissolved in the lye of Trumpism. Donations would dry up, political support on the Hill would vanish into thin air, and he would be on the street.
A Rhesus money screeched at him, pissed out the bars of the cage, did a J Fred Hicks impression, and swung back up into the faux treetops. Everything was metaphor that day, as clear as the bright blue sky of May.
LaShonda Evans, his deputy - a high-shelved, bullying black woman recruited from the ranks of Black Lives Matter - saw what Bob saw, the demise of a carefully constructed, promoted, and ideologically pure movement, but was unmoved. It was time to head back to the inner city where she came from, rejoin her sisters on the street and get down with things instead of wasting her time up here with an ofay, whitey Jew boy. She had ridden the DEI horse long enough, pasture time for him and Panama Red on MLK Avenue for her.
What surprised Bob the most was the dispatch with which DEI was sent packing. One would have expected at least some residuality, some lingering vestiges of good; but no sooner was Donald Trump in office than DEI doors were shuttered and locked, and thousands of social justice advocates left on the curb. Why not a RIF, a reduction in force, rather than wholesale dismissal?
Because the whole country was sick and tired of the charade, the noxious pretentions of gender spectrum, black-only sanctimony, that's why. Sick to death of in-your-face swishy gay men, Bernal Heights tough girls, and bald black men on television hawking everything from peanut butter to equities. Tired of being called racists and misogynists, backward swamp fools, Bible-thumping irrelevancies, nothing but a scouring would do, and at the first ragged lines of unemployed racial touts leaving Washington, cheers went up from coast to coast.
Asians repopulated Harvard and Berkeley. White-only soap operas returned to prime time television. News anchors and reporters were white girls from Omaha and chiseled-jawed cowboys from Montana. Attitude disappeared from CVS, Hate Has No Home Here lawn signs came down, rainbow flags went unsold, and calling-a-spade-a-spade nomenclature returned. America, like it or not, was returning to its integrationist roots and losing the failed notions of identity along the way. It was a new time, a heady time.
Bob left the zoo where he had wandered long enough, and nursed a Bud at the Blarney Stone across the street. As he mused and looked idly out the window, all he could see were white people, lily white people, blonde people, straight people, and the anxiety returned, hopelessness in the place of hope.
'Another Bud, please, Wild Turkey back', he said to Mac, the bartender, a man who after seeing legions of discouraged progressives down his drinks, knew what was what, and gave Bob a double on the house.